03 September 2009

A little bit o' mush

Now that I have been abroad for over year, I have come to realize I am beginning to miss some things. Still, I am nowhere near homesick, partially due to the fact that for the past 4 years I have felt so up-rooted and without a stable ‘home’ from which to grow sick. However, I still feel that I have become detached from a few things that have revealed a strange emptiness inside.

I have missed the good times I hold close to my heart with my brother. The many thousands of miles between us, both before my move and now after, the worst of times were still the best of times. Heaven or Hell, he will always be my best friend.

I miss our parents. Thank you all for finally coming around. I am glad to hear now that we have your support. I do miss the good times. Missing diving and boat trips with Mom and Jack, casual lunches or dinners out at some amazing Chinese or Pho’ joint with the Infantes, Cali, and Holly have left me feeling rather reminiscent.

I miss our friends. I have too much to say to begin.

Band days and Bulls games will forever be hard to let go. College years were precious and I feel like a creepy grownup for wanting to go back to the dorms and hang out in the Marshall Center. Ping Pong with Aaron, Crossroads, MOTL, USF Gym, SEC events, picnics on the Mall, and the Library are all things I think I took for granted. Having grown apart from USF makes me most sentimental. It really is my Alma Mater. I feel congenitally detached since I discovered who I was in college, and now that I know who I am, I wish I could go back and relish the parts that transformed and cultivated me.

I miss kayaking at River Front Park. Alligators, snakes, birds and the lush Florida wildlife.

I miss Disney at Christmas time. I feel my Christmas is most complete with a trip to EPCOT for Candlelight and Illuminations between my birthday and Christmas. Lunch at Morocco and dinner at France made my holiday. A walk through America, England and Canada remind me of Angela’s 16th birthday party (Yay Crunchie Bars), Illuminations and the parade remind of high school going with Jen and Steve, and Spaceship Earth and souvenir stands remind me of childhood.

I miss smoke-free areas.

I miss baseball diamonds. I miss being able to play softball, even if it was corporate softball, but just fielding a ground ball is so elemental and raw to me. I felt at home on a baseball field. I had a most romantic love and passion and honor for the game, for the white side-lines, for the batter’s box and pitcher’s mound, for the grass, the divots in the infield, and sliding with your spikes down. A pat on the ass, rally hats and encouraging-slang only understood by other baseballers.

While I have since missed my dad, I still feel comforted knowing that the waters of the world have carried his ashes from the Gulf which encompass me wherever I may be living. But I am still missing something.

Time to move on from this overly sentimental mood and on to dinner! Ajo!

3 comments:

Kevin Albrecht said...

I also really miss our kayaking, boating, and gym trips. I especially miss playing music together with you guys.

Michele said...

OK, now that I have tears in my eyes, I can hardly type this comment; that was quite a nice sentiment & it is nice to hear that all those things matter & have a place in your heart. Jarred, NEVER forget I am here for you & wish you the best in your life, ALWAYS!
LOVE, YOUR MOM
p.s. I often think of all those same things, & I miss them too.

Meredith said...

I can't believe I sat here and read that! And then if that wasn't bad enough, I then read the comments before posting mine. I haven't been here as long as you guys have, but I too am realizing all of the things I miss about home. With all of that said, I wouldn't change this experience for anything!!! Thank you to you both for helping to make my transition an easy one!